Mix of emotions......

It has been several weeks since my split and my days have been pretty much OK. Work keeps my days occupied and I've started working out with P90X in the evenings and my dogs help to pass the time. Loneliness does creep in from time to time.  Why is it that when someone is gone you are  more likely to think of the good times and forget why you ultimately made the choice to split?  You know in your head why but the heart aches with emptiness...  I know this time will pass as I've been here before what I don't understand is how and why I get myself into these types of relationships.  I know I'm not the brightest star in the sky but I'm certainly not stupid, yet as I sit here this morning after a phone conversation with him I am paralyzed with his words and how he can so easily turn everything around on me?  The big question is WHY I allow this?  Why is it that no matter what or with whom I tend to do this.  Perhaps once I make a connection with someone I don't want it broken.  Whether friend or lover once my bond it there I have difficulty severing it.  All relationships in my life mean so very much to me I give 100% to them and no matter what may split them apart I will always hold a part of it close to my heart.  This is my make-up how God made me to be.  What I must do is to find the strength from within to be able to handle the negativity others put upon me to not allow it to paralyze me, like I did this morning.  My dearest and bestest friend has always been there for me during these times and thank God she was again this morning, for she always has just the things I need to hear and I draw so much strength from her as she has sustained mountains of her own issues in the journey called life.  I love you "C". You are a great friend/sister and the best mother, you've done a wonderful job raising the girls alone and I look up to you for how brave and strong you are. (:

So it is now time for me to stand up and be strong for another beautiful day faces me and though I may feel alone I am not... If you find you have similarities to mine I welcome advice or suggestions!  Until next time.....

Gerri